i want to put something up for debate if i may. as plenty of you know, i recently got engaged to the lovely ben brocklesby. a happy time, yes? why of course. no doubt about it. however something had clouded my mind in the last 24 hours and i need some help figuring it out.
i was struck by the prospect of not changing my name.
now i will start by saying this: when ben asked me to be his wife my instincts said 'change it'. when i thought about it more i came to the belief that, for me, changing my name would be a public solidification of the life i want to live with ben and the feelings i have for him. i never thought about keeping my name. not even once. not until last night.
bens mum told me changing her name was something she regrets with vigour. she loves her husband and would marry him again and again, but losing her maiden name is something she would definitely reconsider. she believes that in changing her name she lost her identity. that a part of her went and she didn't quite feel like the new name she had married into.
i tend to think that your identity is defined by more than just your surname. am i wrong? what does the consensus say? am i backward in my belief that you can marry someone, take their name and still be successful in life, in business and in your personal development?
*sigh* opinions, personal experience and insight greatly sought.