Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Soon to be Big-Sis.

Dearest Miss Annie Jane,

This morning you would not let me shower on my own. You wanted to be in there. With me. Keeping an eye on me incase I went to work or something. I did go to work. But by that time we had distracted you with 'Babe' the movie. You simply love animals at the moment. Although you seem to be confused between a pig and a horse and point to the DVD cover saying 'Horsey? Horsey, Mumma?'. It's hard to resist.

You're 19 months now. Nearly two and getting so much bigger. In about three weeks time you're going to be a big sister. You have no idea what's coming. You're like Kevin Rudd before Julia Gillard turned up and slapped him in the face. Absolutely no idea. Sometimes you point to my ridiculously big bump and say ;'tummy' or 'baby'. But I think that's just because we taught you, not because you know the actual miracle that's happening in there.

Of late you're a little cranky pants. You want things your way. ALL THE TIME. This gets tiring to fight/discipline, especially when you're 37 weeks pregnant. I choose my battles with you. I give you chances to behave yourself (most of which you take) and when you don't you end up in your cot - pretend crying while Mumma waits outside for two minutes before saving you.

I need to harden up.

You have so many words now my lovely. You start each day with 'Mumma?'. Our bedrooms are pretty close so I think you know I can hear you, even with three pillows over my ears! Then you follow it up with ' Wow, look at that'. 'It's in there' 'Hi Hashim' (our neighbour). I always respond to you talking which can sometimes lead to us chatting for twenty minutes. Most of it is baby babble but you throw in a few notable words for good measure. I ask you things like 'Did you play with the babies at child care today?' and you nod and say 'yes'. This form of communication/conversation really delights me. We are chatting. You and I. Finally.

I think Dada is the favourite at the moment. He has so much more energy and time for you at this late stage in the pregnancy. I beat myself up over this all the time. I cant stop thinking about all that needs to be done or cleaned before this baby arrives and as such I find myself giving you less time. The guilt is gut wrenching.

You've really noticed Maggie lately. In fact, you think she's the funniest thing you've ever seen. She literally cracks you up. Whenever food drops on your lap in the highchair Maggie is there to clean it up. I think it must tickle or something. And besides being really unhygienic it's very cute. I think you two will be good friends in the end. I hate to think about when Maggie is no longer around. I know you'll be old enough to understand her passing and I dread to think how I will explain it to you.

You're a social butterfly at the moment. We catch up with a few friends a week and venture to the local café every week where you play with new friends all the time. You're an observer. Watching the other kids to see what they do. Some of the bad habits you take home with you, but overall I get such joy to see you potter around and share toys and smile with glee when kids share with you.

We started you in occasional care recently. It was rocky at the beginning but now you are motoring along. I walked in the other day to pick you up and you didn't even move from the chair. You said 'Hi Mumma' and then returned to your food. Your arm lay casually over the back of your chair as you surveyed the room. I had to turn my head for fear of laughing at you. What a character we have on our hands.

Just so you know little one. I love you. I know the next few months are going to be tough on all of us, but with it will come much bliss too. You're going to have a sibling to love, to fight with, to play with. At first it might be confusing. You might wonder why I don't have as much attention for you. It's not because I don't find you utterly delicious. It's just because I am trying to help your new brother or sister to become as fantastic as you. Be patient with Mumma. I promise to be patient with you.

This baby is lucky to have such a wonderful Big Sis.
Love Mumma


Julia said...

Oh Em what a beautiful post. Annie is lucky to have you as is your next bub. So close now! Are we going to see a belly pic? I'd love to see one. x

LJ said...

This post made me cry!!! because I feel so many of those things for my girls. My youngest is just coming up to 19 months and our bub will be with us in a mere 8 weeks. I remember the joy I felt when we had our 2nd daughter. It just melted me to see Miss T (at 19 months old) doting over her new little sister. Nothing will make you cry as fast (in a good way!). Good luck in these next few weeks.

Stephanie Meade Gresham said...

You are so brave. And Annie Jane will be a super-sis. So sweet.