Righto. That's it. I've had a gut full. Someone has been lying. Someone has been trying to sell this pregnancy crap as the best time of your life. The most momentous occasion that you are ever likely to experience. the time when you simply GLOW! Well, that's crap. Total utter shite. And, while we're at it, was probably concocted by the CIA as some human experiment to see how we cope with pushing a small child through a letter box.
I sit here winching in pain. I have done something unforgivable to my back. It aches. All the time. When I start work in the morning it's fine. NO probs. And then lunchtime rolls round and the sharp stabbing pains take hold. I' m not sure I can tolerate the torture any longer. I may have to bite the bullet and pay for a massage.
To top things off, last nights Anti Natal class was all about giving birth naturally. How the hell am I going to give birth to cotton socks naturally when i cant even update my blog without wanting to be high on drugs! *ow. typing not helping back*
Overall it was a very good class. Informative and a good bit entertaining. They showed us videos of American women huffing and puffing their way through. I was gob smacked to see a head peek out and bodies slip from vagina's and end up on stomachs. It gave me nervous giggles. Ben had to ssh me as my reactions were scaring some of the women in the class.
After the video the midwife passed around some cards. On each was a scenario we may find ourselves in eventually. eg 'contractions are 3 mins apart - what should you do' *skull vodka in the bath while your husband counts the shots*. When we received our card my quiet giggles turned into uncontrollable hysterics. I had to give Ben the card to read out as I had completely lost my shit. Soon it was our turn.
Midwife: 'Ben and Emily. What's your scenario?'
Ben pausing momentarily while I shake with laughter next to him.
Ben: 'Um...we've got wet knickers'
Rolling on floor with laughter
Ben: 'Can I ask?...do I have wet knickers, or does my wife?'
Now in tears.
Ben: 'Should I take them off? Her knickers, not mine I mean'
Midwife: 'Wet knickers might suggest...'
me: 'That's what got us in this mess in the first place?'
We can't even take that seriously, how will we ever be parents?? Here is a little picture of what cotton socks looks like a 28 weeks.
When we got home after the anti natal class I read a leaflet to Ben. Every time I spoke the baby gave a good kick and when I stopped, bubs stopped. We happily played that game for a good 5 minutes *smiles* - oh all right! There are some joys with this whole thing. I think if I had a better back I might even say that I love it.